Things I Couldn’t Tell You So You Wouldn’t Kill Yourself (spoken word) –

The most self destructing thing I could do
Is allow myself to keep “loving” you –
To be afraid of the next boy’s lips who will soon erase you.
Or next boys hips who will graze mine.
I can picture our memories
Vividly and out loud.
These blues and pretty hues
Are turning into nothing but grey and fuzz.
You’ve managed to make me hate myself
Without speaking to me.
I have ripped apart my personality
Hoping I would find the problem.
Sherlocks latest discovery tells me
To tell you,
Fuck you.
You should have been destroyed from the inside out.
You should have laid in bed for days on end
Praying that I would come back.
You should be scared of another girls touch.
Because not even your needles will love you as much as I do.

What you refuse to say –

This boy should come with a warning;
“Hey I’m kind of boring.
I traded in all my good qualities for weed.
Then eventually traded all those in for things-
Something that can me higher.
Faster.
Longer.
My mind is not a place you want to be.
Drugs help me escape from the things echoing inside me.
I don’t bother committing to someone real.
She prevents me from feeling.
I love her more than anything.
And eventually she’ll kill me.
I know that.
But don’t all great love stories end in tragedy?

Pluto –

You’re starting to look like a skeleton,
Decaying from the outside in.
No matter how many times you shove the needles in,
You will not truly feel alive.
I’ve tried to revive you
And make you see
That you mean the earth and the moon to me,
But I was only Pluto in your universe of issues.